Martyrdom and narcissism are two sides of the same coin. Both the martyr and the narcissist are dysfunctional archetypes arising from self-obsession, which is the complete identification with form.
A martyr is one who denies herself in the service of others. Her identity is entirely formed by doing rather than being. The martyr believes that everyone needs her help. This establishes a sense of superiority. Assuming she knows better than others, the martyr offers unsolicited advice, thereby ignoring the divine sovereignty of each human being. The need to be needed distracts the martyr from addressing her own core wounds.
Similarly the narcissist is entirely identified with form. He will act in his own self-interest, entirely unaware of the needs of others. There is a plastic quality to the narcissist’s relationships, an artificiality arising from lack of true concern for others. Interactions are transactional, as another person’s value is determined by what he or she can offer. If another person is perceived as unnecessary or presents a threat, the narcissist is quick to cut ties and distance himself. Like the martyr, the narcissist is unaware of the divine sovereignty of each human being and uses alcohol, sex, money or power to distract him from addressing his core wounds.
Self-obsession creates turbulence and drama. Authentic relationships require awareness of the needs of others without assuming what those needs may be. Release the need to be right, to have all the answers, to believe you are in any way superior to others.
Again, self-obsession results when you identify completely with form. Mediation is the cure for self-obsession as it requires dis-identification with form. In meditation, being replaces doing. In being, you are freed from the self-limiting constraints of ego that tie you to form. In meditation, you remember that the truest version of yourself is not a singular point of consciousness. You exist within a field of consciousness that unites us all.
Each time you return to being, self-obsession is replaced by serenity, tranquility, and a sense of peace. Relax into the inner knowing that the life of each human being is exquisitely connected to your own.
Note: These messages are received through daily meditation and are meant to be shared. I offer them here in love. If a particular message resonates with you, it’s because it was meant for you as much as it was meant for me.
