There is a polarity that exists between men and women. This fundamental mistrust prevents true authenticity in the vast majority of relationships.
If you often find yourself in conflict with your partner, ask yourself “What am I holding back? What truth am I unwilling to reveal?”
Many have become accustomed to taking a defensive posture in their dealings with others. Revealing sincere motives feels vulnerable, or even foolish. At some point, you came to believe that your safety depended on keeping secrets. Unfortunately, at an intuitive level, people can’t distinguish between secrets and a lie.
You sense when someone is hiding something or holding back, which engenders mistrust and anxiety. This anxiety causes you to take a defensive posture, to stand alert. Your defensive posture makes your partner feel anxious. and so the cycle of anxiety and defensiveness is reflected back to you.
How can you break this cycle the creates the backdrop for conflict in your relationship? The answer is to tell the truth.
Outrageous transparency can be shocking because it is rarely experienced in human relationships. However, if you hope to avoid conflict, nothing but the truest, most authentic version of yourself is acceptable.
When you withhold the truth, you create a gap. Your partner projects his / her own insecurities into the gap. Rather than recognizing the fact that your lack of transparency is rooted in your fears, they perceive reticence as evidence of their own inadequacies, or inadequacy in the relationship.
As your partner projects his / her inadequacies onto you, your response is defensiveness. Again, this reinforces the reciprocal cycle of anxiety and defensiveness. The path through conflict requires diplomacy and the courage to tell the truth.
There is great freedom when you come to realize your secret-keeping is unnecessary and your fears are unfounded. Like airing out a dusty closet, the fresh breeze of truth can inspire peace in even the most conflict-bound relationship.
Note: These messages are received through daily meditation and are meant to be shared. I offer them here in love. If a particular message resonates with you, it’s because it was meant for you as much as it was meant for me.
